I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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