He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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