So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Even my vagina gasped.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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