we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
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At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just found puke in my bra..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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