On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
