Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
