I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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