lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
