just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
