I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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