I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
