you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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