so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
