I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
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I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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