How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
