Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
