My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
