I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think your dad took our porno
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
