Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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