I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
