I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
