I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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