I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
false alarm. still invincible.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
