R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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