He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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