SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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