Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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