We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
