margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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