Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Alive.
So much puke
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
