of course. lets lasso hookers.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
