drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
