Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
