That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
