This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
