Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
