I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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