I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
