hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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