You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I got inside last night via doggy door
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
