I think my vagina is haunted
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
