there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
His nipple licking is glorious
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