Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
