We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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