Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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