Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
