no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize