you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
