White coat. Heels.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
