Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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