you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
