i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
