the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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