is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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