Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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