road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
