She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
