Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Semen is not good for contacts.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
