As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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