that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
