worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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