WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Less talking, more tequila
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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